Ten Commandments
of
Electrical Safety
(1) Beware of the lightning that lurks in an undischarged capacitor lest it
cause thee to be bounced upon thy backside in a most ungainly manner.
(2) Cause thou the switch that supplies large quantities of juice to be
opened and thusly tagged, so thy days may be long on this earthly vale of
tears.
(3) Prove to thyself that all circuits that radiateth and upon which thou
worketh are grounded lest they lift thee to high-frequency potential and
cause thee to radiate also.
(4) Take care thou useth the proper method when thou taketh the measure of
high-voltage circuits so that thou doth not incinerate both thee and the
meter, for verily though thou hast no account number and can be easily
replaced, the meter doth have one and as a consequence bringeth much woe
upon the supply department.
(5) Tarry thee not amongst those who engage in intentional shocks for they
are surely non-believers and are not long for this world.
(6) Take care thou tampereth not with interlocks and safety devices, for
this incureth the wrath of thy seniors and bringeth the fury of the safety
officer down upon thy head and shoulders.
(7) Work thee not on energized equipment, for if thou doeth, thy mates will
surely be buying lunch without thee and thy space at the table will be
filled by another.
(8) Verily, verily I say unto thee, never service high-voltage equipment
alone, for electric cooking is a slothful process, and thou might sizzle in
thy own fat for hours on end before thy Maker sees fit to end thy misery
and drag thee into His fold.
(9) Trifle thee not with radioactive tubes and substances lest thou
commence to glow in the dark like a lightning bug.
(10) Commit thee to memory the works of the prophets, which are written in
the instruction books, which giveth the straight info and which consoleth
thee, and thou cannot make mistakes.
-From Orbit, the
Journal of the Rutherford High Energy Laboratory,
Didcot,
England (31 January 1965) p
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