Construction Dictionary

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AUDITOR - People who go in after the war is lost to bayonet the wounded.

BID - A wild guess carried out to two decimal places.

BID OPENING - A poker game in which the losing hand wins.

COMPLETION DATE - The point at which liquidated damages begin.

CONTRACTOR - A gambler who never gets to shuffle, cut, or deal.

CRITICAL PATH METHOD - A management technique for losing your shirt under perfect control.

DELAYED PAYMENT - A tourniquet applied at the pockets.

ENGINEER'S ESTIMATE - The cost of construction in heaven.

LAWYER - People who go in after the auditors and strip the bodies.

LIQUIDATED DAMAGES - A penalty for failing to achieve the impossible.

LOW BIDDER - A manufacturer's rep, who is wondering what he left out.

PROJECT MANAGER - The conductor of an orchestra in which every musician is in a different union.

STRIKE - An effort to increase egg production by strangling the chicken.

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