Halloween Safety Tips
1) Make sure the children "Trick-or-Treating" are wearing light colored clothing or some reflective tape. Reflective tape can be found at most department stores and sometimes in hardware stores.
2) The large man-shaped creature constructed of body parts scavenged from graves and resurrected by a mad scientist may seem docile, but any playing with school-aged children should be supervised by a responsible adult.
3) Inspect any candy that the children bring home before allowing them to eat it.
4) Though not as potent as the clove form, garlic powder can be used against vampires. The tricalcium phosphate added as a free flowing agent will help you use the shaker as a weapon if needed. The voluminous robes and capes sported by many vampires will trap much of the garlic powder, which produces what can only be described as an acute allergic reaction. Note Garlic Salt is not effective due to the mixture ratio. Make sure your powder is loose in the container and not hardened into a clump.
5) When pursued by the undead (ghouls, vampires, skeletons, or ghosts, including the common Headless Horseman variety) remember that they cannot cross running water (e.g. over bridges).
6) If your children use toy guns as part of their costume, make sure that the end of the barrels are a bright orange or red.
7) End your seances correctly. When using a Ouija board, always ask the spirit to leave and do not end the session until the planchette moves to "Goodbye". Otherwise, the spirits are still present.
8) Use similar precautions for invocations. Double check to ensure that the containment chalk circle remains unbroken. And lamb blood cannot be substituted for goat blood when transcribing the mystical symbols! Woe betide the necromancer who paints their runes at the perivolcanae of the pentagram hoping to raise Zudo, Avatar of Arcane Knowledge, when he or she actually calls forth Threlos-Uggah, Daemon of Eternal Torment! I hate it when that happens!
9) Bring a flashlight along when trick-or-treating. Stick to well-lit roads.
10) Sometimes alcohol is served at Halloween parties. If you decide to drink, drink responsibly. Make sure there is someone who is not drinking who can bring you home. Remember The Designated Driver has NO alcohol. Not even one drink.
11) Due to the popularity of the former Speaker of the House, eye of newt is in sharp demand. To meet this demand, some manufacturers are loosening their ordinarily stringent quality standards. Avoid using eye of newt in brews that rely heavily on the ingredient (such as Stonebreath, Elixir of Love, and the Longevity potion). If you must create these concoctions, make sure your supplier is ISO 9000 certified. The international standard for quality programs is your best assurance that your end product will be successful.
12) Driving with the big Barney the Purple Dinosaur mask is discouraged. If you hit a bump and the eyeholes shift, you might be driving blind. Furthermore, it is a surefire way to get stopped and administered a breathalyzer.