New Company Travel Policy
Due to budget constraints, all company travel is subject to the following changes in policy, effective immediately:
LODGING-
Employees are to utilize all friends and relatives who live in the area you are visiting; if none are available, consider the shelters for the homeless which are available in all major cities. If weather permits, bridges and overpasses provide very good protection from the elements and you have the opportunity to meet new friends. Solar blankets are provided in the new travel packages issued to all traveling employees.MEALS-
Salad bars are the most effective as one plate will serve four persons if no one is watching. Many grocery stores offer free samples, and with creative disguises, you may be able to obtain a full meal. Knowledge of indigenous roots, berries and other food sources are encouraged. Remember to place unknown berries under your lip for five minutes to determine if toxic. If you are attending meetings at convention centers or hotels, then visiting other meetings at meal times is certainly encouraged. A selection of name badges is available in the new travel package so that you will be able to get by any security.TRAVEL-
Bus schedules are available in the Corporate Travel offices. Hitchhiking is a viable consideration and you will find your safety vest and sign board in your travel package. Airline tickets will only be issued in extreme circumstances, and then to the most economical destination.ENTERTAINMENT-
The handbook "How Not to Pick Up the Cheque", is included in your package. Memorize this information......never pick up a cheque regardless of the embarrassment to yourself or others.STRICT ADHERENCE TO THIS TRAVEL POLICY IS IMPERATIVE